Hope you are well.
If you are anything like me, you will make up your mind to achieve something and almost expect the results instantly. I am totally aware these things can’t be achieved instantly but I will put so much pressure on myself to obtain the desired result instantly. Often, I will put other aspects of my life on pause until I have achieved what I want. “I’ll be happy when I get a new job” “I will love my body when I lose 10kg” “I will have peace when my skin is perfect”.
So how do I feel in-between? The process that should be great and exciting becomes miserable and draining. Not to get confused, being focused on the end result is a good thing, at the end of the day that is why we are in the process in the first place. We should not allow the end goal to consume and overwhelm us. When the end goal does consume us the goal becomes less obtainable; unhappiness and feelings of defeat will only slow you down if not stop you completely!
“You can’t build joy on a feeling of self-loathing.” – Ram Dass
The Process Has a Purpose
The process exists to teach you, to grow you and to help you appreciate where you are coming from and the hard work it takes to get where you are. Imagine the world if we could all just click our fingers and have what we want… might actually sound good for a minute but I imagine the world full of arrogant and ungrateful pricks to be honest. I was actually listening to a sermon recently and the message outlined that the very thing robbing us of our peace is our insistence on perfection even though God tells imperfection is exactly how God can make us perfect.
And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. – James 1:4
The same sermon also outlined how Jesus himself came into the world in the most imperfect circumstance yet that never stopped him from being who he is or achieving his purpose. Do not let what you perceive as your imperfections stop you from being who you are or maximising your potential. Instead, use your imperfections as mark points for your growth.
Embracing the Now
It can be difficult to fully embrace one’s self when everyone around you seems to be flawless but you. The truth is we all have our insecurities, some we are even too embarrassed to point out to our closest friends. I know to tell you other people have things about themselves they do not like does not take away your own insecurities… it is to rather remind you that you are not alone… if the next person can live happily despite not being exactly where they would want to be or looking exactly how they would want to look then so can you! Truth is there are some things we may not be able to change but our process, in this case, is how we respond to the things out of our control. Do we embrace it and live happily or do we continue to be overly self-critical and live miserably? My advice? Chose you! Chose to love you regardless!
“Self respect, self-worth, and self-love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.” – Rob Liano
“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” – Bob Moawad
While we are changing, developing, evolving and growing into the people we desire to be it is crucial to appreciate who we are. While we are working on what we do not like, channel your energy to the things about yourself you do like or you are good at or you just enjoy. You may not have your dream job yet, you may not have lost all the weight yet and your skin may not have cleared up yet.. but you are on a journey to these amazing things and these amazing things need an amazing person to celebrate them. Our happiness can’t be dependent on things that are ever-changing because that will leave us unstable. Find your confidence, happiness, and peace in your heart and remember that every second you are alive is a chance to change your situation.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. – 1 Peter 3:3-4
Sticking to good habits can be hard work, and mistakes are part of the process. Don’t declare failure simply because you messed up or because you’re having trouble reaching your goals. Instead, use your mistakes as opportunities to grow stronger and become better.- Amy Morin
Through a long and painful process, I’ve learned that happiness is an inside job – not based on anything or anyone in the outer material world. I’ve become a different and better person – not perfect, but still a work in progress – Alana Stewart
Ways to Embrace the Process:
- Track Your Progress – Take progress pictures, save milestones, write down your accomplishments regularly.
- Clap For the Wins – Big or small you should learn to congratulate yourself and be proud of yourself.
- Do Not Beat Yourself Up – Do not be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes or fall off track remember the sooner you get back on track the quicker you will get to your destination.
- Enjoy Yourself – Do not hide because you are working towards something. Two words – balance and discipline. You can still do the things you love and spend time with people you love to ensure you are laughing through the process.
- Seek Encouragement – A lot of the time when the process begins to feel challenging is when it seems impossible. It is great to get yourself examples of people who have done it before to remind yourself that it is possible!
Sometimes we make the process more complicated than we need to. We will never make a journey of a thousand miles by fretting about how long it will take or how hard it will be. We make the journey by taking each day step by step and then repeating it again and again until we reach our destination – Joseph B. Wirthlin